During this busy holiday season, many of us want to show our family and friends how much we care. We may buy them expensive gifts, cook a special dinner, make a homemade craft, or plan fun holiday festivities. Whatever we choose to do, our ultimate goal is to let them know they are loved. But, perhaps before we buy those gifts or cook that dinner, we should take a look at Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. In this book, Dr. Chapman explains that all of us express and experience love in one of five different “love languages.” The five languages are: physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, and quality time. Usually, people give love in the same way that they want to receive it. But, that’s not always the best way for those closest to us to experience love, which is why learning the love languages of our family and friends is so important. Once we learn how our family and friends want to receive love, we can show it to them in the ways that mean the most to them. They will feel valued, appreciated, and above all, truly loved.
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Over the last few weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to give presentations about my latest book, The Refuge. I love sharing my story with audiences and listening to their feedback as well as answering their questions. It’s always a fun experience. Sometimes, even after the event is over, a particular question will continue to resonate with me. I had this happen just a few days ago. A woman had asked me if I had ever experienced a great loss similar to that of my main character, Anna Waters. In reply, I shared about a loss that was very personal to me – the loss of myself years ago – which opened up a whole new conversation about wounds and healing. The woman went on to say that she could tell my writing and my life were very closely connected. When I got home that evening, the woman’s question re-entered my mind. As I pondered it further, I was reminded of the important role writing played in my healing process. Many years ago, I decided to write a book with its sole purpose to help me heal, and it did just that. I never intended to publish the book, and I never did. But writing that book also helped me realize my deep love for writing. It even turned out to be the catalyst for my future writing endeavors – even though they wouldn’t materialize for more than ten years.
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