Spending time with the different people in our lives can teach us many life lessons. But the one I want to focus on today is the importance of loving people wherever they are at on their lives’ journeys. During the holiday season, many of us spend more time with families, friends, co-workers, or neighbors than we usually do. And even if our time with them is limited, many of them are still on our minds. Whether we are scanning the aisles in desperate search for the perfect gift (Christmas sweater, anyone?) or pondering why Grandma’s fruitcake is still on the menu, friends and families are a part of our lives – although sometimes, spending time with them can be challenging. When things don’t go as planned, we find ourselves feeling frustrated and disappointed. But, the people in our lives are who they are. So, that’s why it is so important to show them as much acceptance and love as we can.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to give presentations about my latest book, The Refuge. I love sharing my story with audiences and listening to their feedback as well as answering their questions. It’s always a fun experience. Sometimes, even after the event is over, a particular question will continue to resonate with me. I had this happen just a few days ago. A woman had asked me if I had ever experienced a great loss similar to that of my main character, Anna Waters. In reply, I shared about a loss that was very personal to me – the loss of myself years ago – which opened up a whole new conversation about wounds and healing. The woman went on to say that she could tell my writing and my life were very closely connected. When I got home that evening, the woman’s question re-entered my mind. As I pondered it further, I was reminded of the important role writing played in my healing process. Many years ago, I decided to write a book with its sole purpose to help me heal, and it did just that. I never intended to publish the book, and I never did. But writing that book also helped me realize my deep love for writing. It even turned out to be the catalyst for my future writing endeavors – even though they wouldn’t materialize for more than ten years.
This past week, I had the privilege of connecting with many different people while presenting at the Local Author Night at Barnes and Noble as well as facilitating a local circling group. It was great seeing friends and former colleagues in attendance, but it was also fun meeting new people and listening to their stories. These experiences reminded me of the important role connections play in our lives – both our connections with others as well as our connections with ourselves.
This past week, my aunt and uncle came for a visit. Since they were going to be staying with us for a long weekend, they emphasized the need to keep it simple. They didn’t want us to worry about cleaning the house or buying groceries ahead of time. Their main objective was to spend time with us, and they didn’t want their visit to be a stress or a burden. While they were here, we mostly hung out at home playing cards and passing the football around in the backyard. We also attended a couple of my son’s flag football and soccer games and looked for seashells along the shore of a beach near our home. It was a low-key visit, and although we were willing to take them to the local attractions, they simply wanted to “be with us” – stepping into our lives for a few days. It turned out to be a wonderful and relaxing weekend, and my children were very sad when they had to head back home. But, we were all grateful for the quality time we got to spend together enjoying each other’s company.