Finding True Freedom

Last week, I shared some of the wisdom from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements. This book exposes many of our limiting beliefs and how these beliefs become the basis for how we live and how we act. We learn to judge ourselves and others and seek positive attention even if it means being someone we are not. We judge our behaviors and punish ourselves – often over and over again. Soon, we become the Victim holding onto shame, blame, and guilt. The Judge and the Victim come to rule our lives. These limiting beliefs become our truth, and once we’ve accepted them, these beliefs become our agreements.

So, how do we break free from these limiting beliefs we’ve been trained to believe? We change our agreements. We realize that much of what we’ve learned about our world is based on fear: fear of being rejected, fear of exposure, fear of judgment. But fear is not all there is. We always have a choice about what to believe. We soon learn that the only place we can find our inner truth is within ourselves. We must love ourselves enough to accept who we are instead of who we think other people want us to be. With this knowledge, we can break our fear-based agreements and reclaim our personal power.

When we are ready to live our own truth, “the four agreements” from Ruiz’s book will transform our lives. Last week, I shared the first two agreements. The first agreement was “Be impeccable with your word.” Our words are the most powerful tools we have, so we need to speak them from love. The second agreement was “Don’t take anything personally.” When someone else makes a comment about our appearance, it actually has nothing to do with us. They are actually dealing with their own thoughts and opinions regarding their own appearance. The truth is, we don’t have to be accepted by others; we simply have to be accepted by ourselves. Today, I am going to share the third and fourth agreements.  

The third agreement is “Don’t make assumptions.” This is something all of us do very easily. We assume that we know how people feel or why they are acting a certain way, and we take it personally. Instead of having clear communication, we assume that we have all the answers and that other people see life in the same way we do. But, that is not the case. We need to have the courage to ask questions and accept people for who they are without trying to change them. Good, clear communication is the key, and we need to be willing to let go of our assumptions. Only then can we find freedom and understanding in all of our relationships.

The fourth agreement is “Always do our best.” Now, our best may not always be the same from day to day, but we need to keep trying. Some days will be better than others, but we can’t punish ourselves for this. As long as we know we tried our best, that is enough. We can enjoy our life. We can let go of the past and live in the present. We can be truly alive in each moment of our lives because there are no regrets. We can come to accept ourselves for who we truly are, learn from our mistakes, and keep practicing. We don’t have to be perfect.

We have the power to create our own belief systems and our own truths. We have the ability to see the world with new eyes. It begins with forgiveness – of ourselves and others. Only through forgiveness can we truly heal. And although the truth can be painful, it’s the only way to self-acceptance. We must be who we truly are and live our lives from love. We must: see love in others and in ourselves; enjoy our lives and live them the way we want to – without fear and judgment; release our need for control and our need to be right; take risks and love ourselves just the way we are; and create our own world of happiness.

This week, reflect upon your belief system. Do you live your life from love? How will your life change if you stopped making assumptions and always did your best? Perhaps you will be able to find true freedom in your life by releasing the fear, believing in your own worth, and reflecting upon the four agreements: be impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. Stop the Judge and the Victim from ruling your life any longer. Believe in all that you are and all that you want. You are powerful and free. Challenge your limiting beliefs – and see how your life can change. 

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